About the Course

Timetable of our one-day course
Who conducts these courses?
How early should we take our course?
Must we book, or can we just arrive?
Do you refund, if we cancel our booking?

---

Where and when are courses held?
Are catering and course-notes provided?
Will we get an Attendance Certificate?
Will there be counselling or group-work?
Is the course suited for interfaith couples?

---

What marriage documents are required?
How is our marriage civilly registered?
The regulations for marrying abroad

Spirit and Objectives of our Course

This one-day course (held on one Saturday or Sunday each month) aims to help engaged couples to focus mentally, emotionally and spiritually on their future marriage and how their union can be enhanced. It is delivered in the form of interactive "sessions" rather than as straight lectures, to encourage couples to clarify their expectations and their commitment to partnership.

Who conducts the "Together" Course?

The Together course is directed by a priest (usually Fr Pat Rogers, Mount Argus,) with Angela O'Rourke, M.A., with the collaboration of a team of highly trained counsellors and dedicated married couples.

Patrick Rogers,c.p., D.D., lecturer in biblical studies, trained in counselling with CMAC (now Accord). He maintains the website and the speakers' roster, and conducts the session dealing with marriage in civil law and Catholic doctrine; and wedding celebration.

Angela O'Rourke, M.A. (applied theology) has taught 3rd-level courses on Christian Ministry, and on the Theology of Marriage. As well as dealing with bookings and answering telephone queries, she is responsible for our course session on sexuality, intimacy and relationship.

Other Team Members:

The trained counsellors who treat of relationship problems and viable solutions include: Brian McDonnell, Berna Brennan, Gillford d'Souza, David Carrick, and John Murphy

The final session (Life Together, on the actual, lived experience of marriage) is given by a rota of Catholic married couples, selected both for their skill in open communication and because they have an interesting story to share.

How early should we take our course?

There is no hard and fast rule on this, but our general guideline is: "As soon as is convenient for you, once you have gotten engaged, and have a date in mind for the marriage."

It's not unusual for a couple to take their course with us even six months or more before the wedding date. Getting it done early is not just convenient, in the sense of one more task ticked off the list. You are likely to get more benefit from it if you take it at your leisure, when not under the pressure of an imminent wedding.

If you are having a Catholic wedding ceremony abroad, you should have your course done at least four months ahead of the wedding date. Usually, the foreign parish will require that you send them an approved pre-marriage-course certificate, at least three months in advance of your wedding.

The same four months guideline applies in case of "mixed marriages" (between a Catholic and a non-Catholic) since all your wedding documents, including the wedding-course certificate, will need to be sent in advance to the diocesan office, to obtain the bishop's consent (dispensation).

What is the course like, on the day?

The hotel setting is very comfortable, with all the usual amenities, including ari-conditioning.

The number of couples attending can vary, depending on the level of demand and on the time of year. However, since ours is such apopular format, and many parishes positively recommend it, there are seldom less than thirty couples on any given course. A group size of FORTY couples is our usual limit, before we stop taking any further bookings for that date.

As the groups tend to be large, even though each participant is welcome to make his or her views heard, you won't be under any real pressure to talk publicly about your relationship -- unless you really want to. But our speakers will naturally expect some kind of feedback, since we are dealing with relationship issues on which there can be a variety of valid opinions.

Do our engaged couples enjoy the course?

Yes, very much so, and sometimes even to their own surprise. The most common reaction from our engaged couples is that they found the premarriage day enjoyable, challenging and very worthwhile. Couples like that are our best advertisement and often recommend our course to their friends.

Location, Timetable and Frequency

All our courses are held on Saturdays or Sundays, in venues in Dublin (south side) - and most often, in the Maldron Hotel. The dates and venues are regularly updated on this website.

When does the course begin, and when does it end?

First session starts at 09:30 sharp. All couples need to be in the Hotel lobby, by 09.15 at latest.
The course will be completed, and your attendance certificates distributed, by 17:15 that afternoon.

While the course is quite short, in just four sessions, we do hope you will follow up on some themes from the day, afterwards, by reading much of the supplementary material provided on this site

Must we book in advance, or can we simply "come on spec."?

Advance booking is absolutely required. We could not organise the courses without this and certificates of completion could not be prepared for issue at the end of the course.

Will our booking and cheque be confirmed in writing?
Not unless you specifically request this, sending an S.A.E. with your completed booking form if you book by post. Please keep a note of the date for which you've booked.

Will our course fee be refunded, if we have to cancel our booking ?

Our "pre-marriage course refund" policy: If you have sent us in your booking, but later find that you need to cancel it, please notify us (phone 01 296-4257) at least a week before course date, and your course fee will be refunded in full. Or, if you prefer, we may be able to offer you a place on a later course instead, with no extra charge.

If you make a booking with us, and then simply fail to turn up for the course, we will on request refund half of the booking fee. The other half is forfeited, as your unused place would otherwise have been taken by another couple.

Is Catering provided as part of the course?

No, instead we have lowered the course price to ##

There's a break in the mid-morning and another in mid afternoon.
(at a modest price, the hotel can serve Tea/Coffee & a scone or biscuits).

For lunch (from 1 to 2 pm) our couples can avail of a special carvery offer from the hotel.

Are course-notes provided?

We do not provide printed notes to our course participants on the day of their course. Instead, as a means of following up items covered on your "Together" Course, we provide material online on many aspects of marriage. You can access these Course notes (on relationship, intimacy, marriage law, marriage ceremony, theology of marriage, wedding speeches, etc) via the links on our main-page).

Naturally, we hope that these will prove useful to our engaged couples, and that you will read at least some of them, as an extension of your marriage preparation day.

Is there intensive group-work, on the course?

No. There might be a small exercise to do in a group, but there is no need for revealing your inmost secrets, nor is your partner invited to spill the beans on you, in any way that might be personally embarrassing.

On the other hand, some level of interaction with others on the course should make it a more interesting experience for everybody concerned.

Is any counselling offered by the course?

Any participant is free to speak to any of our speakers after each session, or may arrange a later appointment with them, if they wish. Upon request, before the wedding we can provide a referral to a marriage counsellor, e.g. to deal with relationship stress, or conflict resolution. In this case, an initial counselling session will be offerred gratis to the couple.

Situations where counselling can help:

Relationship problems may arise that a couple feel unable to resolve on their own. Rather than involve family members or close friends, who might too quickly take sides – and make the problem worse – it's worth seeking impartial and skilled help from a trained counsellor. What counselling offers is an area of calm, where things can be seen again in perspective and some middle ground can be reached, hopefully before a couple have reached breaking-up point.

Will we get an Attendance Certificate?

Upon completion of the course, each couple who have stayed throughout all four sessions receives an ornate "certificate of completion" with their names, the date of the course and the signatures of & contacts for both the course coordinator and the course director.

Why is attendance at all four sessions needed, to get your certificate? Because the course is designed as an integral unit so it can't really be trimmed down to just a couple of sessions. Also, current Catholic regulations expect the course to last at least eight hours.
Our certificate certifies that you have completed the course, and can therefore only be issued when that condition is met.

Can we get a replacement Certificate?

We strongly recommend that you photocopy your Attendance cert as soon as possible after the course, as you may need it for your wedding documentation. [Issuing a new cert is possible, but it requires an extra visit to our printer!]

To have a lost cert re-issued, you should mail your details [names, course date] with €10 plus SAE, to

Who may officiate at our wedding?

In order for your names to be entered in the civil register as married, your wedding must be solemnised by a person authorised by the General Registrar's office (see website http://www.groireland.ie)

In order for the religious wedding ceremony held in Ireland to be also a valid civil marriage, it must be "solemnised" or presided over by a person who is named on the official Register of Solemnisers, maintained by the Registrar's Office.

Before inviting a priest to act as your celebrant, you should check that his name is on this Register; and if it is not, ask to have that omission rectified well before the wedding date. Just before your wedding, hand over to this priest your marriage registration form.

Is the course suitable for Interfaith Weddings?

We believe so, though the majority attending will be Catholic couples. Inter-Faith Couples should notify us, and ask any questions they wish, to ascertain the best available options for celebrating their ceremony.

Sometimes the marriage council agency, Accord, holds courses specially designed for Inter-Faith Couples

Regulations for getting married abroad

The regulations for weddings abroad will be briefly clarified. For full details on this question, elsewhere on this site, or consult the General Registry Office website.

Are any Irish priests available to celebrate weddings abroad?

Sometimes we can help the couple find a suitable bi-lingual Irish celebrant, willing to officiate at weddings in France, Spain, Italy or elsewhere. You may address your query to Fr. Pat Rogers on the day of your course.

What Wedding-Documents will we need?

For a Catholic Wedding:

a) Baptismal & confirmation certificates
b) Pre-Nuptial Enquiry Form (by a priest of your parish
c) Marriage preparation certificate

d) Documentary proof of your freedom to marry *
e) permissions & dispensations where applicable **

* e.g. furnish an AFFIDAVIT
** e.g. for a mixed marriage
Since interpretations of d) and e) may vary according to local custom, you should ask the priest in charge of your wedding church to list his documentary requirements.

For the civil ceremony you need:

1. The couple must attend in person with the state Registrar 3 months in advance of the proposed wedding.

2. The registrar issues a Marriage Registration Form (MRF) to permit the wedding. (The couple must present the MRF to the solemniser before the wedding so that he can check that the details are correct before the marriage takes place. This should be done as early as is convenient..)

3. The person officiating at the wedding must be a state registered solemniser appointed by his/her church. If changes are necessary – for instance, changing the name of the solemniser – the couple should be advised to contact the civil registrarto arrange for the re-issue of the MRF at the earliest possible stage before the ceremony.

4. Two witnesses must be nominated (normally Best Man & Bridesmaid)

5. You will also declare, before the wedding ceremony, that there is no civil impediment to the marriage, using this form

6. The couple must return the completed MRF to any registrar after the wedding, so that their marriage is civilly recorded.

Registration and Certificate of Marriage

Getting the MRF: Since 5 November 2007, a couple intending marriage are required to give notification in person, to a Registrar, of their intention to marry at least 3 months before their intended marriage date. The notification can be given to any Registrar. If there is no impediment to your marriage, the Registrar will issue you with a Marriage Registration Form (MRF) which gives you permission to marry.

Before the ceremony, you should give the MRF to your marriage-solemniser. Immediately after the marriage ceremony the MRF should be signed by you and your spouse, the two witnesses and the solemniser.

Returning the MRF: If you get married by civil ceremony, the Registrar who solemnised the marriage will register the marriage as soon as possible after the ceremony. If you get married by religious ceremony, you should give the signed MRF within one month to any Registrar (not necessarily the one who issued it), for the marriage to be registered.

If the completed MRF is not returned to a Registrar within 56 days of the intended date of marriage recorded on the MRF, the Registrar can serve a notice on you requiring you to return the MRF within 14 days of receiving the notice. If you do not comply with this requirement, the Registrar can serve a notice on you requiring you to attend on a particular date at the office of the Registrar (or other place given in the notice) with the completed MRF. If you are unable to give the MRF to the Registrar when you meet, you have a further 14 days to give it. You cannot get your civil marriage certificate until the marriage is registered.

Registration of marriages outside Ireland:

Marriages of Irish citizens abroad are registered in the country where they occur. A marriage certificate issued abroad will normally be recognised, for legal purposes, here in Ireland. The General Register Office in the Republic of Ireland has no function in the registration of marriages of Irish citizens that take place abroad, or in advising on such marriages. Marriages that take place outside the State do not need to be registered in Ireland.

Applying for a civil marriage certificate: The Marriage Register entries are public records and anybody can obtain copies of them.

You can apply in writing, by fax or in person giving as many details of the marriage as you can, i.e. full names, date and location of event, parent's names and occupations, mother's maiden names etc. Obviously the more information you can give us the more chance we have of finding the records you are looking for.

Our index and records are date based and are in a manual format so we will need accurate dates (correct year at least). The absolute minimum information we need is the forename and surname (of both parties if it's a marriage) and the year the event occurred and in many cases we will need some further detail/s such as an exact date, the location of the event, other forenames, parents names etc. (General Register Office)